The MudShark - shhhhh shhhh SHARK...

We all know there are various names for different types of poker players (which of course I'll go over) but I think I've found a new name for one type, Mud shhhhh shhhhh sharrrrk.... 

Fish: New player who is generally clueless and doesn't think about anything except the two cards in his hand. He has no concept of how to hand read or really figure out much about reading the board. He loves to see flops. Most of your better players don't really mean it in a derogatory way when they refer to someone as a fish. They just mean this is a clueless player who knows little about the game. 

Donk (or Donkey): A donk doesn't really know a lot more than a fish but they generally think they are better players than they are. They've likely learned a little about the game and occasionally think about what cards you might be holding. Of course they never think what you're holding is better than what they're holding because they always "put" you on that hand that is worst than theirs. If they could manage to think you had a better hand that would mean they would have to fold after putting money in the pot and they just aren't quite capable of this yet. One thing to note, only donks use the word donk. I almost never hear a good player call anyone a donk. If you are calling people donks or donkeys guess what, you probably are one. 

Droolers: (also gimp or moron) Although these terms aren't specific to poker they are very frequently uses to refer to certain types of poker players. Whereas everyone starts out as fish, these types will always be fish. They lack the mental capacity to ever get better. They're not necessarily brain challenged, they are just either too ignorant or too lazy to bother with getting better. In defense of some of them, they are just playing to have a good time and gamble it up. 

Regs:  Regs (meaning regulars of course) get broken down into a few categories:

The bad reg: They play a lot have some concept of the game and maybe occasionally think past level two but they rarely play well and many of them never get much better at the game. The good thing about them verses the donk and fish is they will occasionally think on a deep enough level to fold once in in while. 

The meh reg: He's a little better than the bad reg and he wins more but no one would go so far as to call him decent or good. He'll probably never make it to the decent level because he just doesn't care enough. He's learned what he knows by osmosis and through playing a decent amount but he never puts in the effort to work on his game. 

The decent reg: Most decent regs will eventually become good regs. They work on their game and they try hard to improve. They often make the correct play and have a decent understanding of the game and strategy. Often they are only a few steps away from becoming a good reg, many of them even play a pretty respectable game. They're just usually still playing too tight late game or not 3 betting or raising in enough spots and they're still putting too much emphasis on the cards and their post flop game isn't as good as it needs to be. Decent regs are generally fairly profitable players for the most part but are often hurt more by downswings than good regs. 

The good reg: These are the higher level players who understand the game in depth and work hard to continue to improve. They are generally someone you want to avoid at the table. They are creative and tricky and generally very aggressive. 

The Shark: Pretty much the good reg or the sicko (see below) 

The sicko: These are usually the loose aggressive players. They are everything the good reg is with the addition of well calculated aggression and nerve to play just about any hand from any position. They have unreal post flop skills and because they play so many hands you never know what they have. These guys can make your life totally miserable at the table. If they 3 bet you and you 4 bet them don't be surprised when they five bet jam on you with 79s or some other way less than premium hand. You will find there is a thin line between a sicko and fish and sometimes if you don't have a lot of history with them it's hard to tell the difference. 

Then there is...

The MudShark: (yeah, yeah I love Frank Zappa) I was listening to this song the other night and it dawned on me that this is the perfect name for this other type of player. This guy is far from a good reg or a sicko, most of them probably wouldn't even make it into the decent reg category but by God they think they are the best thing to hit poker since cards got color. They've read all the books, watched all the videos and absorbed more knowledge than even John Nash could process but they've hardly played. Many play occasionally online, the occasional home game and a few live tournaments throughout the year but they truly believe they're better than all the guys with years of experience and more games/hands behind them than you can count. God forbid if one of these guys luckboxes a big win since that only confirms what he already knows, that he's the best and the very best. He could outplay Phil Ivey if given the opportunity. I mean after all it's a known fact Phil Ivey really doesn't know much about ICM, right? 

These guys get on poker forums and post their opinions on a hands and even though 10 or 20 other well accomplished players totally and completely disagree with them they continue to argue their point (usually quoting the well known writings by the top guys like Harrington or Doyle Brunson). They post all these poker software findings and half of what they say makes no sense. The ranges they use for opponents are outrageously off (generally way too tight) but by God the software says they're right and they're sticking by it. They're also very quick to tell you how they are sure they are a much better player than you are. 

You see these guy show up on forums, make asses of themselves, call other and better players bad and disappear pretty fast. Either because they became so obnoxious the mods banned them or they decided not to waste their precious time and vast knowledge on the dumb lowly people on the forum. 

Don't confuse these guys with trolls, these guys are a different breed and I think mudshark is the perfect name for them because with their incessant desire to believe they know everything and the fact that they study a zillion times more than they play, they will never become a real shark and always just stay bogged down in their muddy but superior brain. 

So everyone let's toast to the MUDSHARK since for every one of them that leaves the forums a new one will pop up to take their place.