"Everyone will eventually run worse than they thought was possible...

... The difference between a winner and a loser is the latter thinks he doesn't deserve it."

This is my favorite poker quote, no idea who said it but they were so right. This is my worst year since the first year I played but the year is not over yet and I still have time to turn it around. I have 3 months to change this from my worst year to my best!

I tweeted earlier "to blog or not to blog" and when I was looking for a picture to begin this blog I found the one above. I also found the one below and had trouble deciding which to use.

Now back to the subject at hand, I have to say despite the comically bad year I'm having I think I'm actually handling it better than I would have expected. I do think my game is suffering and I'm making a lot of common "run bad" mistakes. I feel like I tend to push it too hard in a lot of spots and I'm concentrating way to much on the end result, making money and rebuilding a bankroll, instead of just playing each hand the best I possibly can and making the right decisions. I have a tendency after I start a session and take a few brutal beats to start thinking negatively. The old "oh great another shitty night" thing. I think this is really making it hard for me to even manage to play my B game much less my A game.

I'm going to try to make a very conscious effort to focus only on each hand and not worry about the end result. Speaking of focus, lack of it is definitely part of the problem. So I'm going to work on getting rid of the distractions when I play. I'm going to completely log off Skype, close down the internet and turn off my phone during my next session. Distractions are hard enough to deal with when things are going well and I'm playing well more consistently but they are game killers when I'm having trouble focusing and playing well.

Of course this year has taken quite a toll on my confidence, which has never really been that great to start with. I'm really going to try to improve in that area as well. I know that for the most part I know what I'm doing and I really need to give myself more credit than I do.

Hopefully the next time I blog I can report some major improvements and some good results. I know that this too will pass and I'll come through it a much better player...

But seriously, let it end already :D

The quote may be from Irieguy on 2p2 in this post (definitely worth reading):
It's also quoted by Gigabet here: also definitely worth reading

Run it up update: obviously not going great, pretty much staying broke on Carbon despite making a few deposits and down to $175 on BlackChip.