Most of these blogs are for and about poker and poker players but this one isn't. It's a special blog for the most special person in the world, my daughter, and only child, Anna who's leaving home in a couple of months and moving six hours away to get one or two more BS degrees, this time in science, after realizing Sociology wasn't for her. I was lucky to have her home while she got her first degree and for the last year while she tried out her first job and then went to a community college to get her science prerequisites. If you have kids enjoy every moment you have with them, they'll be grown and gone before you know it. The rest of this blog is for Anna, anyone who wants to is welcome to read it but it's for her. For the times when she's homesick or thinking about her life growing up. It's just the things I may have never said and I want to be sure she always has this when she's trying to stand on her own two feet and trying to figure out where tuition or rent is coming from this time. It's for the times when she wonders why she choose to go back to school and when Physics, Calculus or Geology classes feel like torture.
For you Anna...
The first time I laid eyes on you, after and horrendous labor and even worse delivery, I fell in love. I never imagined there was that much love in the entire world. I love your Dad and he loves me but I know neither of us ever knew how much we could love someone until we saw you. It had taken me four years to get pregnant and I never even tried too hard. It just wasn't a huge deal to either of us. If we could have a baby great, if not we could accept it and had decided not to go to any big medical means to get pregnant. One of the first things I remember thinking or maybe even saying, after you were born was if I'd had any idea how amazing it was to have a child I would have done any and everything possible to conceive.
You have been and will always be the light of my life. Even though so much of the time, life has preoccupied so much of our time and I may have been wrapped up in a job or poker or whatever and I couldn't, or just wasn't, always there for you, you were always the most important thing in my life.
You are so special, so beautiful inside and out, you are so smart and best of all so unique. Even though there were times I complained about that uniqueness I was always proud of how you were who and that you didn't let anything or anyone change that. Never lose that specialness about yourself. Never care what others think of you. You live for you and you do what makes your life full and happy.
I know how much it drives you nuts when we're in the car and I'm listening to country music but so many country songs say what's in the heart, and I promise there are only a couple below. Here are the songs I've always listened to when I was thinking of you and how much I love you and how full you've made my life. When you need a timeout because you're stressed or homesick you can come back to this blog and read it and listen to the songs and know that you're making the right choices and that you can do anything you set your mind to. "You is kind. You is smart. You is important", sorry I just couldn't resist adding that one!
A Mother's Prayer...
I love you more than life! I hope you dance...
Sometimes it honestly felt like it's been you and me against the world...
When you were a baby I used to sing this to you, badly I'm sure...
"Go on take on this ol' world but you know you'll always be.... my little girl"
Because you loved me...
Where did that time go???
...and a very special shared love, If you want to sing out, sing out - Harold and Maude. Don't go freeing canaries, that's an idea before it's time...
- Fly as far and as fast as you can and never look back.
- If you think you can do something then know that you can.
- Never doubt yourself and never let other's doubt derail you from what you want to do.
- Stay positive!!!
- Be careful.
- Most importantly, ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOUR DREAMS!
I LOVE YOU AND I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!
